It kills me how much I let people get to me.
This is why I keep people out of my life. They say something and I’m a freak and I don’t know how to react so I internalize and…that’s it, then I guess it’s done and I fall deeper into being me.
This isn’t a good thing.
It’s weird not being able to talk to people
Not bad necessarily, because after 24 yrs I realize ppl just don’t ever, and won’t ever get it
My motions are becoming effortless
My soul is hardening to my surroundings
I lack the will to move from my current mind set
I once feared an aching hurt through my chest would eventually destroy me, now prove my thoughts to be yet another failed attempt to be more then the nothing inside me
The emotions eat away at my core, leaving me empty
My nightmares are coming true
The world I built in my head is slowing melting into the reality: I’m dying with my dreams
I’m losing the spark and I don’t care
I’m watching myself slip from the stars I once climbed
I’m done falling
My spirit my passion my hopes all done falling
I’ve reached the bottom, lacking the will to move from my current mind set
And after everything I think I’ve finally decided to stay this way
The lows were never worth the highs so I’ll save whatever is left of myself on the ground
It’s better this way
If you were in the hole buried under this much hate with me you’d see it too
Here’s my Junior Thesis! Our theme was “Kings and Queens,” and although the individual we chose did not need to be an actual monarch, we were not permitted to choose anyone fictional. The paramaters of the project dictated that it be 1) biographical and 2) span from early life to death. I chose John Lennon as my subject (King of Rock, I suppose). PRINTS HERE!
It seems to me that when something goes wrong in ones life, other people have a much easier time than I do blaming external forces besides themselves.
I’ve never really had that luxury. Instead, anything and everything that goes wrong, I somehow feel responsible for, regardless of whether or not…
Spending my afternoon watching this over and over again for a research project. If you haven’t seen it, it’s the collaborative work of Salvador Dali and Walt Disney, Destino. They started work on it in 1945, and it was finally finished in 2003. It’s crazy stuff, but the story and art are more beautiful than words.